• My Kid is Still an Asshole…

    A while back I wrote a entry, declaring my son to be an “asshole”

    While that specific post earned me more than just a couple virtual high fives…. there were also quite a few bleeding hearts who could not believe that I would dare call my son such an atrocious name. Shit, I’ve also had a couple blogs backtrack to that post, attempting to show the world what a callous and unfit mother I am. I took the negativity in stride… I mean, honestly, who are these people to judge? Do they even have kids, over the age of 1? Well, guess what? Here we are, almost 2 years later and the little dude is STILL partaking in ways of asshole-ery.

    Donkey

    Case in point… Dickie is currently NOT supposed to be allowed any computer time, due to past infractions. Tonight I took pity on him and decided to let him get on the computer to play on Starfall. For those of you who don’t know, Starfall is an educational website… I specifically made sure to mention that he was not allowed to go to ANY other site. No Roblox… No Facebook… No Youtube… and he listened… for a little while. It didn’t take long for him to get caught on Facebook (that little green light on messenger snitches you out every time) I let Dickie know that he was busted and told him that he was going to have to get off the computer… He didn’t give me too much sass over it, so I figured that we were home free.

    Stupid Girl…

    Fast forward to an hour or so later… The boys were all tucked away in their beds and I decided that I would have some free time to browse around the internetsss. I sat at our trusty little computer desk, absently plunked one of my fingers against a random key on the keyboard and waited for our computer to spring to life. Nothing… just a black screen staring back at me… Once again I jabbed my finger into the keyboard… I even gave the mouse a little wiggle… still nothing. My eyes darted to the left, resting on the tower… where the circle of life lay dormant. Completely un-aglow. Dickie had fully shut down the computer.

    Now, I understand that this may not seem like a big deal… certainly nothing to call your child an asshole over. But wait, there’s more… For some reason, remembering the password to log back onto the computer has never been an easy task for me. Tonight I gave it about 15 tries, before I finally text Hubs, in defeat… (for the record, I actually HAD used the correct password numerous times… I just hadn’t noticed that the number lock was off)

    As my desktop finally began to show itself, I quickly noticed that something was off… really REALLY off. I blinked at the desktop in disbelief… Roughly 85% of the icons were gone… completely and utterly GONE!

    “What the hell did he do now…”

    I glanced towards the bottom of the screen and noticed a very full recycle bin. As I opened up the bin I had to laugh a little, to myself… and sure enough, there were all of the missing icons… in the virtual “trash can”

    Apparently my little asshole has leveled up… 2 ass-ey moves in one! I’m almost a little proud. Almost…



  • If I Text you before 6AM, it’s Probably About my Eyebrows…

    For the most part, I try not to bother people, before the sun begins to rise…

     

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    But there are some occurrences, where it just can’t be helped.


    K : I FUCKING HATE EYEBROWS!!!!

    L : Yet they are so necessary in the grand scheme of things

    K : Think I can use sick leave for a bad eyebrow day???

    L : Is there really a better excuse… Female boss or male boss?

    K : Male

    L : You’re screwed? … and after last week, when you were falling asleep in the morning meeting…

    K : I mean, I know they’re supposed to be sisters and not twins… but these bitches don’t even look like they’re from the same gene pool today.

    L : You probably lucky you’re still employed, draw some angry brows on today. Then at least everyone will know that you mean business and then they won’t fuck with you!

    L : Can’t they just both be women… close enough to sisters, right?

    K : One probably used to be a man… Pre-Op

    L : Just walk in there with your two different eyebrows and own that game…

    K : Maybe I should just rub them both off and go in like that… I might get lucky and get sent home!

    L : You may have just unlocked the secret to manipulating ones boss… Gotta go, carpool is here.

    K : *thumbs up*