Whoever Blinks First Loses…
Last week, I was challenged to an innocent game of “Whoever Blinks First Loses” by Dickie… It seemed like it would be an easy enough win and I didn’t really have anything else going on, so I accepted his challenge. On the count of 3, we locked eyes. I easily stared into his piercing blue eyes and watched as he slowly narrowed them to slits. I returned his glare… making sure not to accidently close my eyes. He then widened his eyes, attempting to scare me into blinking with his half-crazed expression. Once again, I mimicked his look. I saw a small wave of frustration wash over his face. He knew that Momma was in this to win it and he wasn’t having any of that.
I watched as he slowly closed both of his eyes. For a moment, I continued to stare at my son… who sat before me, with his eyes drawn tightly shut. “Ummmm… you lost, Dickie and that’s totally the longest blink that I’ve ever seen!” I attempted to tell my determined son. He solemnly shook his head “no” and proceeded to inform me that it would not be counted as a blink, until he re-opened his eyes. I stared at him in disbelief. Somehow, my kid had just found a loop-hole in the time-honored game of “Whoever Blinks First Loses” I didn’t know whether to call him a dirty cheater or laugh… so I just blinked a couple of times, towards his face… to spite him.
Since no rational person has ever stormed out of “Whoever Blinks First Loses”, against an 8-year-old, I knew I had to sit and wait this out. Just as I was starting to whine about the unfairness of all this, his left eye crept open. He peered at me, through his one open eye and rigidly informed me that if both eyes were not opened, it was not a true “blink” … as I struggled to find my argument, his left eye returned to a closed position and his right eye sprang open, staring straight into my soul. I have never, in all my life, wanted to poke a child in their eyeball so badly…. and that’s when I snapped.
“YOU’RE CHEATING… THAT’S TOTALLY BLINKING! THIS ISN’T FAIR, IT TOTALLY COUNTS AND YOU ARE A CHEATER AND I DON’T PLAY GAMES WITH CHEATERS! CHEATER!”
Dickie, steadied his one-eyed gaze upon me and in the most even tone that I had ever heard leave his mouth, informed me that I had just blinked. He then reopened both eyes, gave me a small pity pat on the head and scampered away.