The Instant Mashed Potato Flake Massacre…
When arguing with your spouse… try not to do any of the actual “arguing” while making dinner.
Because if you argue with your spouse, while making dinner, you just MIGHT be holding a plastic measuring cup full of instant potato flakes… and if you, for whatever reason, get mad enough you just MIGHT find yourself throwing the before mentioned plastic measuring cup full of potato flakes at the wall…. and if you’re going to have ventured that far into crazy land, you just MIGHT find yourself galloping towards the one room in your house, that is the furthest from the kitchen as the plastic measuring cup full of potato flakes makes impact with the wall, next to your stove.
What happens next is the bad part.
At some point you’re going to have to calmly return to the kitchen. The same kitchen in which your spouse is still occupying. Your return to the kitchen will enlighten you to the fact that, somehow, when tossed through the air… potato flakes have the ability to either expand or multiply. possibly both. There will be more potato flake, within your line of vision, than kitchen.
What happens next is the badder part.
Apparently the mutated potato flakes have fallen asleep after declaring that they “aren’t going to clean themselves up” Somebody’s got to do it and everyone in the household is looking right at you. Potato flake disposal will occupy at least 30 minutes of your time. When a dry rag, a wet rag, a paper plate and the side of your hand ain’t cutting it… you will have to resort to the hose attachment to your vacuum. This will be the saddest vacuuming of your lifetime.
What happens next is the badder-est part.
Somehow, while the potato flake massacre of 2013 has been unfolding, your spouse has finished grilling what you will soon determine to be the best tasting pork chops of all time. As you take your first bite, you’re no longer angry, with the spouse…. you’re just the fool who’s left holding a 12 pound bag of mutated instant potato flakes. An apology will be muttered, with your eyes directed towards the tiles on the ground.
Random uncaptured potato flake will be found in various crevices of the kitchen, for months… possibly years.