First of all… today is my freaking Birthday! So, hurry up and comment, wishing me a very happy birthday and stuff… unless of course you don’t get around to reading this until tomorrow… or any day after tomorrow. Then you probably shouldn’t bother, because it won’t be my birthday anymore… and don’t give me any of that “belated birthday” bullshit either… Either comment TODAY or don’t comment at all. Unless you somehow manage to stumble onto this entry on January 27 2014… 2015… or 2016. Shoot… maybe at somepoint… ummm, some point is 2 words, you big dummy. *Sigh* Where was I…. Oh, yeah…. maybe at some point a time machine will be built and you can go back through the years and find this entry and wish me a happy birthday, pre-2013… but, that wouldn’t work because this entry wouldn’t have even been written yet and this is all making my head hurt. So hurry up and wish me a happy birthday before it’s not January 27th anymore…
…and since it’s my birthday, we’re going to discuss a person that was essential in me… existing. My Mom.
My Momma. When life was still fun… before I came along
Yesterday, my Mom took me out for a little pre-birthday lunch and some shopping. I love my Momma with all my heart but she has always had some quirks that just downright confuse the shit out of me. I try to overlook the fact that she drives, using both of her feet… I tried not to give her too much crap about taking her car to the carwash before she took it to the dealership, for a full service, which also included a carwash… and I’ve only talked crap about her culinary specialty Scooter Surprise, on here once. I mean it’s not like I don’t have enough of my own oddities… Can’t really be a pot calling a kettle black and throwing stones at it, while you’re in a glass house… or however that saying goes. But yesterday, at lunch I saw something… and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I don’t really even know how to accurately describe what I saw… I’m just that confused by it and with the confusion… comes the worry. How old is too old? Luckily I was able to snap a picture of her actions, at lunch… Maybe you guys can help me figure this shit out… Ease my mind a little?
Can somebody PLEASE explain to me WHY my Mother is eating her club sandwich, with a fork??? She even cut it into pieces with a freaking KNIFE!!! That is not how sandwiches work, Mom!!! You just turned your sandwich into a salad… and we JUST had salads, before our meals arrived!!! I’m so confused… I’ve seen her do this with pizza before… but it never really bothered me like the sandwich did. Who eats a sandwich with a fork and knife? It’s just mind-boggling.
I mean, what’s next? Will I find her using a straw at a drinking fountain? Using her fork and knife combo to eat a taco? Putting spaghetti in a coffee mug and attempting to drink it? Where do I draw the line? When do I put my foot down and tell her “No! That is not normal! Stop it, immediately!” But, then again, what if she doesn’t remember HOW to properly eat a sandwich? Should I start looking into old folk’s homes, for her? What would you do?
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I cannot eat that type of sandwich without wearing it to save my life. Your mother has made it possible for me to order one in public with her brilliant idea.
Sorry about siding with your mom here, but I cut the corn off of corn on the cob to eat it too.
My Half Assed Life recently posted..My Dad The Superstar, Adored By Many
Shit! I forgot to say Happy Birthday!
My Half Assed Life recently posted..My Dad The Superstar, Adored By Many
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
I bet your mom does hte sandwich thing on purpose now just because you have such strong feelings about it.
Ah mom, always giving…
El Guapo recently posted..Friday Foolishness – Runners Edition
Happy birthday from one January baby to another!
Before you commit your mom to a home, maybe you should ask her why. My husband eats his doughnuts (even those little ones) with a fork. He eats cheese puffs with a fork, too. The concept of finger food is lost on him. And, although he is older than me if I place him in a home at this point he will no longer be bringing home a paycheck.
Crickle1969 recently posted..Retro Camera
Happy Birthday!
My soon-to-be-ex MIL eats club sandwiches with a fork. You’re 100% correct, it’s freakish. Lock her up! The MIL, that is. I’m sure you’re Momma’s a doll! And if that’s the worst thing she does, well, I’d keep her.
Happy belated birthday.
Ya know, I don’t see nothing wrong with this…. We were taught in Germany that you “eat everything with a fork”…. The fork goes in the left hand.. so ya never have to set it down!! OOOPS… she has the fork in the right hand!.. Theres no hope for our Scooter… LOL. PS, Isn’t that the sweater I threw away in 1977?
Too late to comment on the birthday, but your mother is a freak and must be stopped. Pizza with a fork? NOT AT MY TABLE, LADY! Of course, if she knows that the pizza eating bothers you and is eating her sandwich with a fork just to screw with you then, kudos to you, momma!
awww. i think that’s sweet that she went out of her way to treat you for your birthday..