Strange Things my Mom Does… Part 1on January 27, 2013 at 5:35 pm
First of all… today is my freaking Birthday! So, hurry up and comment, wishing me a very happy birthday and stuff… unless of course you don’t get around to reading this until tomorrow… or any day after tomorrow. Then you probably shouldn’t bother, because it won’t be my birthday anymore… and don’t give me any of that “belated birthday” bullshit either… Either comment TODAY or don’t comment at all. Unless you somehow manage to stumble onto this entry on January 27 2014… 2015… or 2016. Shoot… maybe at somepoint… ummm, some point is 2 words, you big dummy. *Sigh* Where was I…. Oh, yeah…. maybe at some point a time machine will be built and you can go back through the years and find this entry and wish me a happy birthday, pre-2013… but, that wouldn’t work because this entry wouldn’t have even been written yet and this is all making my head hurt. So hurry up and wish me a happy birthday before it’s not January 27th anymore…
…and since it’s my birthday, we’re going to discuss a person that was essential in me… existing. My Mom.
Yesterday, my Mom took me out for a little pre-birthday lunch and some shopping. I love my Momma with all my heart but she has always had some quirks that just downright confuse the shit out of me. I try to overlook the fact that she drives, using both of her feet… I tried not to give her too much crap about taking her car to the carwash before she took it to the dealership, for a full service, which also included a carwash… and I’ve only talked crap about her culinary specialty Scooter Surprise, on here once. I mean it’s not like I don’t have enough of my own oddities… Can’t really be a pot calling a kettle black and throwing stones at it, while you’re in a glass house… or however that saying goes. But yesterday, at lunch I saw something… and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I don’t really even know how to accurately describe what I saw… I’m just that confused by it and with the confusion… comes the worry. How old is too old? Luckily I was able to snap a picture of her actions, at lunch… Maybe you guys can help me figure this shit out… Ease my mind a little?
Can somebody PLEASE explain to me WHY my Mother is eating her club sandwich, with a fork??? She even cut it into pieces with a freaking KNIFE!!! That is not how sandwiches work, Mom!!! You just turned your sandwich into a salad… and we JUST had salads, before our meals arrived!!! I’m so confused… I’ve seen her do this with pizza before… but it never really bothered me like the sandwich did. Who eats a sandwich with a fork and knife? It’s just mind-boggling.
I mean, what’s next? Will I find her using a straw at a drinking fountain? Using her fork and knife combo to eat a taco? Putting spaghetti in a coffee mug and attempting to drink it? Where do I draw the line? When do I put my foot down and tell her “No! That is not normal! Stop it, immediately!” But, then again, what if she doesn’t remember HOW to properly eat a sandwich? Should I start looking into old folk’s homes, for her? What would you do?
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