Dear 7.95 followers:
I am alive. My computer is not. Thank you for your silent concern.
Dear Dell:
Please send me a free computer… And printer… And some ink. Thank you in advance, for ignoring this message.
Dear Congestion currently squatting in Dickie’s chest:
Go the fuck home, jackass! No one(thing) fucks with the baby!!!
Dear The Beast:
Quit all the butthole related activities immediately! Your butthole is not a stamp… I don’t appreciate you licking it and trying to stick it on my bare leg! My bare leg is a butthole free zone!
Dear iPhone:
Thank you for saving my sanity during the last week in which I have been without a computer… And for allowing me to write this lame ass entry.
Dear Gym:
I apologize for allowing a pumpkin cookie and a Lime-a-Rita to woo me away from you tonight…
Dear Vagina:
I think you might be depressed.. Snap out of it bitch!
Dear Entry that I’m pecking out right now:
You’re probably not going to be the prettiest entry at the ball… But try to rock it anyways… Do the Cupid Shuffle, or something…
Love fo’ always,
The computerless Kimberliah…
