The Blogger Idol Final 133 were announced yesterday. Wait…. what? Let’s try THIRTEEN… shit, if there HAD been 133 then I might have had a fighting chance.
In case you haven’t already discovered, heard or guessed… I was not selected.
…and you know what? If you push those initial feelings of disappointment, loss, sadness, despair and loser-hood aside… there’s kind of a little mini lopsided off-color rainbow to be seen. (or so I’m trying to convince myself)
Last night, after the children were tucked away in bed, I sat at my computer desk contemplating what to do next. My first instinct was to throw myself off the roof of our home. However, the simple fact that I live in a one story house thwarted that little scheme, as I would probably just land awkwardly on one of my legs, breaking my ankle. (Note to self: Buy 3 story house before Blogger Idol 2013.
I contemplated running away from my shame and starting a new life in some tiny no-name town in the Midwest. I would go with only the clothes on my back and maybe a box of Cheese Nips. I would change my name to Hailrebmik, but they could call me Kim for short… But, after remembering a conversation that I had with Hubs a few nights ago, where he declared that I made the best sandwiches ever, I knew that I couldn’t just up and leave him… He may never find that level of sandwich again and I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I had done that to him…
I could make a solemn vow to never write again… but, then what would I do the next time I caught The Beast drinking shit water out of the kid’s toilet… How would I tell you all that Dickie no longer obsesses over Shuffling and instead chooses to spend his hours telling me every last detail about Lizard Lick Towing… Where would I post drunk pictures of the Hubs and tell funny stories about how he almost pee’d in our entertainment center? I can’t let this be the end of kimberliah!!!
So, I’m going to turn a negative into a positive…. 13 positives!
13 Reasons I am ECSTATIC I Didn’t Win Blogger Idol
1. I can do whatever the hell I want for the next 10 weeks. No stressing out about assignments or deadlines… or crazed stalker fans at the gas station.
2. I can remain under the radar for another year. Bright flashing lights can trigger migraines, so I’m trying to put off this whole “famous” thing for a while.
3. I can continue to give the comma the bird. I stick a damn comma wherever the hell I want and not have to worry about any scores being affected. ,
4. I don’t have to worry about anyone dragging any skeletons out of the closets… or having to write a quick witty tell all about myself, a la Eminem in 8 mile.
5. Did I mention that I can do what the HELL I want for the next 10 weeks!!! ADD Brain is SUPER excited about that one…
6. My 2012 audition was done in 20 minutes… I now have 11 MONTHS to prepare my 2013 audition.
7. I don’t have to worry about cleaning up my fucking language.
8. I can start trying to reconnect with my children… and figure out which one is which.
9. My friends might want to start being seen with me, again… since I won’t feel the need to disguise myself in public anymore.
10. I can start signing my receipts again, since I know they’re not going to be worth anything on Ebay any time soon.
11. If I don’t feeling like writing… I won’t have to!
12. I can quit begging you guys to do stuff, that only 7% will follow through on…
13. More time to do giveaways of objects that look like vibrators!!!
Related articles
My all time favorite, only because I can totally relate:
8. I can start trying to reconnect with my children… and figure out which one is which.
Harder for me because 15 & 12 are almost the exact same height. Thank God 12 just got a hair cut for Locks of Love or I’d never be able to tell the difference.
Teri
I swear I run through names of people who don’t even LIVE here when I’m trying to get their attention!
If it makes you feel any better, I tried out and didn’t make it either. 2 years in a row now…
But then again, mommy/daddy bloggers make up most of the judges, and mommy/daddy bloggers made up most of the finalists, both years running… We shouldn’t be surprised here, since neither one of us are ‘mainstream’ enough to be voted in…
I’m thinking someone needs to make a ‘Not yo mama’s Blogger Idol?’ One where rude, crude, silly and awesome blogs actually stand a chance?
Brandon, from My Own Private Idaho recently posted..Hey @NFL, The Ravens Fans Are Right. BULLSH*T!!
Damn it… and to think, I’ve been sitting here balancing a book on my head… trying to be all mainstream and ladylike and shit…. When you find that alternate website, let me know and I’ll try to give you a run for your money
I think I’ll join in for fun. Love your reasons why your happy you didnt win! And I’d totally be in the 7% that follow through on things you ask us to do
Cricket recently posted..Yoomi Baby Bottle Review
HOORAY!!! ’cause seriously… NOBODY freaking listens to me… I’d be all “Hey buddies, do me a favor and go to the Blogger Idol Facebook page and tell them on their wall that you want me for the next Blogger Idol!!!” … and they would “like” my status and that would be the end of it. LOL *sigh*
kimberliah recently posted..So, you Failed at Blogger Idol… Now What?
Sorry to hear the news, but don’t let them hold you down or make you jump off your single story house.
One Funny Motha recently posted..Save the Children
Do you, by chance, have a 2 story house that I could borrow?
kimberliah recently posted..So, you Failed at Blogger Idol… Now What?
So many have taken not being selected for this competition so hard. I think it’s great that you’re finding the humor in it. Seriously, they’re just peers judging other blogs. It’s all subjective. Great post.
Mommy Unmuted recently posted..Band-Aids Be Gone
Thanks! I wanted to go publicly mock the people being crybabies about the selections… but decided to come back here and flail around for a while…
kimberliah recently posted..So, you Failed at Blogger Idol… Now What?