kimberliah…

Do you currently spend 40 or more hours trapped inside a dreary cubicle?  Do you have important projects to finish and timelines to adhere to?  Would you like the peace of mind to be able to freely browse Facebook or perhaps even my very own website, without fear of being caught in the act?  Well, today is your luck day!  It would be your “lucky” day but apparently I can’t spell worth shit, so you’re just gonna have a “luck” day.  Deal with it, bro.

In Cube-ville, where I presently earn a paycheck, Friday is joyfully referred to as “I Don’t Give a D Day!!!”  You can replace the “D” by either damn or dang… depending on your own personal preference.  Friday is the day where, if we’ve been good little worker bees, the paper-flow slows down. WAY down, some weeks.  This last Friday was one of those days…  I had about an hour left, until it was time to begin my weekend and I was feeling antsy.  Me being antsy can be either a blessing or a curse. Thankfully, I believe this time the heavens may have smiled down upon my squirrel-y self.

I was going to create a door for my cubicle!

Ummm… Cool. But, wrong “door”

Oh, yes I was… and no one was going to stop me!  It only took a few frenzied moments and it was complete.  I could feel my co-worker’s jealousy seeping under my new cube door… and I can’t say that I blame them.  Having a door on your cubicle is amazing!

…and guess what???  I’m going to share my creation with you!  I’m even going to show you how to assemble it!!! Could this day GET any better???  Hell to the no!

Well, shoot… let’s get  this party started.

Step 1: Locate the huge pile of paper that you’ve been meaning to shred/recycle… if you’re not sure where your pile is, look under your desk.. that’s where I found mine.

Try not to use any papers that have magically sprouted arms and legs.  Call security if they actually have a freaking face.  I don’t care if they’re smiling or not… those assholes are EVIL!

Step 2: Locate the dustiest tape dispenser that you possess. If the dust can be removed without the use of acid, keep looking.  There’s a dustier one out there… I promise.

The dust level, accumulated on the dispenser, is mandatory for several reasons that I simply can not verbalize.  It is something you have to just know in your heart.

Step 3: Spend 20 minutes looking for a black Sharpie marker, that actually writes.  When you realize that you don’t actually own one… go steal one. Preferably from someone who may have stolen your last usable black Sharpie marker.

Keep the newly acquired black Sharpie marker, using this logic to deduct that it could have possibly belonged to you, at some point.

Ok… with those 3 simple items, the cubicle door is now within your reach… I’m not going to bore you with the play-by-play instructions of the actual crafting of the door (because quite frankly, I’ve grown tired of typing…AND this damned door project).  So, I’m simply going to post a picture of the finished project.  Trust me… it’s pretty darn easy to figure out.  Pinky Promise.

Finished sign reads: This is my door. Please respect my door!  A happy face was added so that people would not become offended.

…and quit trying to figure out what was on my white board.  That shit is not for your eyes.  If you become privy… I’ll have to kill you and I really hate when that kind of stuff happens.

So you’re welcome… for the door AND for safe-guarding your mind

…from the dangers of Tic-Tac-Toe

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