Blinded by the Light…on July 17, 2012 at 10:33 pm
I have a very troublesome problem, which only affects a very select group of people.
I work a 5/4-9 government schedule. I know what you’re thinking… cause trust me, I’m thinking it too… What the hell is a 5/4-9 schedule? Technically, I know what it is… but looking at those numbers, laid out like that, I’m kind of at a loss… Please hold while I Google….
Well, Google is full of crap and non-relevancy tonight… so, please hold while I create an educational picture…
Ummm… shit’s freezing up and stuff, so here’s a picture of a cop talking about a chalupa, via Natalie Dee…
Yeah, buddy…. it don’t get much better than that. So back to the matter at hand. The 5/4-9… It looks a little something like this…
Fancy-shmacy, no? Whatever. Don’t be haten on my 5/4-9. It’ll cut a bitch… especially a shift working bitch.
Wow… For the love of JWoww, where was I going with this thing?
OH! Yeah… My troublesome problem. My dilemma. The bane of my existence… and a bunch of other sayings that mean “that one thing in my life that sucks”
I travel TO work at about 5:45AM and I travel home FROM work at about 4:15PM. I live west of my place of employment… Any guesses?
How ’bout now? Want another clue? The sun!
Do I seem like a have a grudge… some sort of unresolved issue, with the sun? Well, I do. That mo-fo tries to freaking blind at least twice a day, for a majority of the year…. and it’s not even cool about it… and I’m not even smart about it… Every morning, in the EXACT same location, that piece of crap gets me… and it gets me bad. We round one of our usual turns, on the freeway and KABLAM, BITCH!!!!!! SUNNNNNNNN!
and it’s not even a cool laid back sun, like with shades on and smiling… it’s angry and screaming and brighter than shit! Nothing can offset that burn… not sunglasses… not your 2 inch sun-visor… not even sunglasses. Wait I already said that. See! It’s messing with my MIND, man… and it’s night-time! What I meant to say was that even closing your eyes will not detract that shine. Ever seen the glow of hot red light through your eyelids? It’s not a calming feeling.
Thankfully Hubs does a majority (all) of our work driving, so after we turn the corner of Doom, I am able to flail and bob and weave and cuss and adjust my posture and attempt to position my eyeballs directly behind my 2 inches of sun-visor… It’s a miserable drive. However, there are 2 very brief moments when the Hell Sun is eclipsed by 2 large mountain-hill things. I always manage to get a tad too comfortable, during those few seconds… unclench my body… peel my hands off from over the sunglasses that are covering my closed eyes…slowly exha….. BOOM, BITCH!!!! YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONE! BOOOOOOOOOOM!
Hell Sun has some serious issues that it needs to work through…
Chill out you stupid Hell Sun…you’re never gonna make friends with that crappy attitude!