The world is going to be forever changed… and it’s partially due to the fact that I couldn’t figure out how to spell the word “spatula“
You see… my brand new blogging buddy, GingerSnaap, at Oh My Gawd, Just Do What I Say! had written a post that I felt utterly compelled to comment on. The post, entitled A Titillating Tale, detailed her annoyance over a seriously misplaced ironing board. HER seriously misplaced ironing board… to sum up the wrongs created by this action, she says it best….
Lemme give you a little tip- in ADHD world, things cannot be moved to a different spot than their ‘usual’. When you do move something to a different spot than their ‘usual’, an ADHD girl will look directly at it, multiple times, and think to herself “No, that is not the ironing board on the wrong side of the closet. The ironing board is supposed to go behind the door on the right side of the closet, not on the left side of the closet, and, even though I am staring at something that looks/smells/tastes/ and acts like an ironing board, I do not see it. No, that is not the ironing board because it is on the wrong side of the closet. Nope.” -GingerSnaap
That paragraph, alone, nearly suffocated me with its raw truthfulness. I had been there… multiple times. Most recently with my one and ONLY spatula. I hurriedly attempted to leave a comment showing my comprehension of what she had written. There was only one tiny issue… I could NOT, for a multitude of reasons unbeknownst to myself, spell the damned word spatula. Spell-check even refused to assist me, nonchalantly giving me “the finger” and sauntering off… But, maybe it was meant to be.
Another kitchen utensil that the family likes to play “hide from the Crazy-Momma” with is my measuring cup…. and measuring cup found itself to be far more “spell-able” that day… However, deep down I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to share the spatula story.
What took place following the measuring cup comment was nothing short of a miracle…
A hilarious Miracle…
It is a rare occurrence that I find someone who has the same make and model of brain that I do…
ADD/ADHD Brain
During our McDonald’s coffee/Ritalin fueled Twitter conversation this morning, the ADD/ADHD Test was born
Mind you, this test is only for the diagnosis of the 18 and older crowd… as it appears we both have a touch of potty-mouth.
Basically, this is the way the ADD/ADHD Test works…. It’s simple.
If you suspect yourself to possess an ADD/ADHD Brain, all you have to do is read the following conversation…
If you can read the entire conversation, chuckling at times and complete the reading with a smile on your face… You have ADD/ADHD Brain
If you attempt to read the entire conversation, but keep getting lost and having to scan back… find yourself mumbling “what the f@ck?” a minimum of 3 times and fail to allow anything resembling a laugh to leave your body… You do NOT have ADD/ADHD Brain
If you clobber your screen while screaming that these 2 bitches are stupid as all Hell… You have no sense of humor and you should go away. Soon.
Ready for the conversation? I bet you are… Please keep in mind that the copy/paste actions required to create this ADD/ADHD Test took at least 30 minutes, with full-on McDonald’s coffee shakes… You’re Welcome.
and…. go
and….. pencils down. I don’t even know why you were holding a pencil. I didn’t tell you a pencil was required… Maybe the possibility of ADD/ADHD is the least of your worries… You pencil-coveting freak.
So… how’d you do?
Don’t worry about your co-pay and feel free to post your diagnosis below, in the comments… Unless you were determined to be “unfunny” Then you can just go away… and don’t be clicking on my damned stars up there, screwing up my “score” … just go.
*and make sure you go check out GingerSnaap’s blog… Here’s the link, just in case you missed it up top… Oh My Gawd, Just Do What I Say! But don’t be going over there trying to push me out of her heart… she’s mine, and I will cut a bitch
Related articles
- Spousal Differences in Those With ADD/ADHD, How I Make it Work. (defeatingthedeficit.wordpress.com)
- Not Just For Kids: Author Stacey Turis Gets Real About Adult ADHD (blisstree.com)
- Myths About ADHD (focusedonadhd.wordpress.com)
Oh my little tiny baby Jesus in heaven, I didn’t know I was that FUN-NEEEE!!
DBOLO- David Beckham Only Lives Once, with the Bisons!!
Bhahahah-hahahahhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Totally re-blogging this today!
Oh, and? I think it’s a good thing you couldn’t spell spat-u-la because that could have gone in a TOTALLY different direction! Spat-u-las are good for spanking and whipping and flipping and dominating and stuff like that, if you know what I mean
how the hell couldn’t I spell spatula… I had NO issues with it, today… at all. Must have been fate.
Reblogged this on OhMyGawd, Just Do What I Say! and commented:
Friends, I found my long lost twin sister. Her name is Kimberliah. Kim-Ber-Hi-Ya. Kimber. Kimberlove. Kimberstar. Kimberlicious. She is Shiny, with glitter and sprinkles. She will cut a bitch who dares to be mean to me, or something like that!
You two are so meant for each other!
…I feel complete
I paused in laughing long enough to realize I was holding a pencil…. I think I might have ADD
…and you’ve probably been holding that pencil since yesterday… “I don’t know where it even CAME FROM, mannnnn…”
Yum David Beckham.
Crap… hopefully there’s enough Beckham to go around. You can have my portion… Hubs frowns of celebrity consumption.
I’m not really sure what just happened.
Success!
Well, even though I’m currently befuddled, I nominated you for an award. Or maybe it was because I was befuddled…anyways, click here….http://stuphblog.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/and-they-keep-rolling-in/
I love lamp.
Edward, were you able to follow the conversation?
Kimberlove, meet Edward. He’s a loveable asshole and sometimes he is mean to me and all the time I am mean to him.
She’s one of my followers, I think.
I WAS able to follow the conversation. Of course I was. You’re talking to someone whose has conversations like this with his wife:
Wife: I’ve got to go to the store later and get some milk and pop.
Me: When you go there, will you get me some more shaving cream?
Wife: When I go where?
Lol. Point made.
I’m supposed to say something nice about you today. Hobbs is making me. What would you like me to say?
I’m not telling you what to say. And neither should Hobs. Your nice thing is going to have to come from within. If you can’t say something nice about me, then I’m not surprised.
Oh pipe down, Senor Grumpy Pants. I have plenty of nice things to say. And I am writing it all out without the help of my Ritalin. So there.
If you have plenty of nice things to say, it’s probably because you’ve been saving them all up for months.
Stop interrupting me, I am writing something over at my place.
And? You’re a big baby and I say nice things about you all the time (barring that ‘big baby’ comment). In code. A code that no one knows but me.
And? I said 2 nice things about you when I answered your hard questions at my place and you acted like you didn’t even notice. So there, again.
They were like drops of nice water in an ocean of meanness.
You’re welcome.
ha ha!
My list of ‘things I like about Hotspur’ is getting shorter. Stop distracting me while I am thinking about writing about you.
Do you like frappuccinos? I love them, but they’re so high in calories. Not all calories are bad, like protein. Remember that Era commercial where they said ‘protein gets out protein’? I wonder if they tested that at a porno shoot. I said ‘shoot’ just then. Do you own a gun? Or a sprayer at your kitchen sink? Is it a Moen? Do you think they Moen at a porno shoot?
I think you are being a little bit of an ass right now, silly person.
Go Away.
We are flashmobbing Hotspur today. I thought you might be interested in helping. For more details: http://wp.me/p2pR2U-1n3
David who??? Oh well, must not be critical to the post, because I totally get what you are saying. If something gets moved it immediately becomes invisible. I’ve been late to work because of this phenomenon. It’s a bit frustrating at times. Nice post!
Yepp. ADD. Of course, I already knew this, but that conversation was funny as hell!
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