kimberliah…

For reasons that are completely unknown to me, Dickie is now captivated by the game of Tether-Ball

or TB, as I will call it throughout the rest of this entry… because, let’s be honest here, I’m probably going to mention the word “Tether-Ball” about 50+ more times and I really don’t want to keep writing the damned word out

TB will find its way into our daily conversations, with Dickie, at least 20 times a day…

and that is a bare minimum.

His most recent obsession sprang up this year, during the first grade.  I can still vaguely remember the first time he came home, talking about TB.  I was glad that he had found something that interested him… This came about during his ill-fated Justin Bieber craze and I honestly hoped that good ol’ TB could knock JB down a few notches.  I never knew, though, the extent of attention TB would end up receiving…

and from that day forward TB was THE thing to talk about.

…well, that and Shuffling

If we ask Dickie how his day was, after he returns from school…there is a 97% chance the answer will involve TB

and a 3% chance that the question will be fully ignored and he will ask for money to go get an Icee.

While his near-psychotic obsession with Shuffling has remained consist… his love of TB seems to be gradually building

When Dickie gets excited about something his stammer worsens.  So, his attempts to tell us a simple one liner regarding TB  can  take a LOT longer than normal…

“I I I I I I I I I I…. I…… I I I… I….. I IIIII play Tether-Ball today.”

and lately the stammered word gets progressively louder each time he says it… so when he finally manages to get that last one out, before he continues his sentence,  he’s pretty much shrieking it at us.

Good times.

I try to appear patient with the stammer… I know rushing him is only going to make it worse.  But, those pesky voices locked up inside my head are ass-holes.  As I stare at him encouragingly, the voices are having a shit-fit….

“Whhhhhhat!!!  What are you trying to say???? OMG.  Just get past the *I* already and I’ll try to guess the rest….JUST STOP SAYING *I*!!!!”

His volume ascending stammer and my ADD brain are definitely not BFFs

But, I love him WAY more than I love myself…. so I fake some patience and silently wait it out.

Dickie has consistently declared himself to be one of the better TB players, in his entire school.

Is this true?   I have no idea…

Does his school even HAVE  Tether-Balls?   I should probably ask one of his brothers…

From what I can gather, during our more recent TB discussions… his TB nemesis is a classmate, named Paulino

Paulino is the only kid that Dickie claims to not “take it easy on”

Once, while at the car wash, Dickie pointed out a woman to me.  He informed me that she was the “Tether-Ball Teacher”

Tether-Ball Teacher?  Huh?  Recess monitor, maybe?

He, then, quietly muttered that she had taught Paulino how to play TB

The rivalry runs deep.

For the last 2 weeks, at home, he has been attempting to master what he refers to as the “Paulino Hit”

To me, the “Paulino Hit” just looks like someone hitting a Tether-Ball as hard as they can…

If he’s not shuffling, he’s dramatically miming the “Paulino Hit”

Come to think of  it, I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen the “Paulino Hit” beginning to merge into part of his shuffling routine.

This, my friends, could be the beginning of greatness…