I live in a strange… bewildering land
A land where things that have always been known to be true
are proven false… effortlessly
Let me spin a little story for you
Picture this, if you will…
It’s a Friday night, like most other Friday nights
Hubs and I were beginning to feel a little bit restless so we head out to a local bar
I had made a promise, to myself, that I would stick to my diet and decided to consume only water…
It was a first for me
So the night proceeded as most nights out do… There were smiles and laughter and good times to be had
I noticed how convenient it was to throw back the ice water… no fear of a hangover…. no fear of acting a fool
It was all good
As the night ended, we returned to our home. I grinned as I drifted off to sleep… tomorrow I was going to feel awesome
with a capital “a” even
Dare I say add an exclamation point?
Ok, we’re getting out of hand here…
so, off to sleep I drifted
I awoke with a start. The room was dark…. Dark, Dark
Caps Loc? Yes.
I felt my entire body shaking, almost violently
It took me about 3 minutes of laying there….in the dark, to realize that the steady intense pulsing was centered at my heart
My heart was pounding so hard, within my chest, that it was jolting me from head to toe
and now that I had found the core of my discomfort, I immediately took note of the speed in which my heart was thumping
My heart rate was easily 2 to 3 times faster than its normal rate.
I had just woken up…. what was happening to me?
As I rose, carefully, from the bed I was struck by how “out-of-it” I felt
I crossed the bedroom and entered our bathroom… staring into the mirror that hangs from the wall.
The girl staring back at me had a slightly detached look about her… I did not fail to notice that the image before me seemed to vibrate in time with my furious heart.
Pounding Pounding Pounding
It was almost is if my heart was trying to escape… me
I made my way down the hall and brought myself to rest at our computer desk.
My concern over the way I was currently feeling was mounting…. quickly
I felt completely horrible, my chest was trying to push its was out of my body and I was pretty sure that if I wasn’t able to get my heart rate down, quickly… bad things were going to happen
I was frustrated by this unwelcome turn of events… I had been responsible, damn it. I had drank water!
I began to consider calling an ambulance… I didn’t want to…. God, I didn’t want to
but, I knew something was really wrong.
I absently went to Google, while I considered the option of getting help
and began to look up my symptoms…
Within the first page of returns, I began to feel a wave of familiarity wash over my shaken body
How in the Hell….. but, I drank all that water… how could I possibly be dehydrated
Apparently consuming massive amounts of water, over a short period of time can dehydrate the hell out of you…
by washing all of the cool stuff out of your system
Relieved to know that death probably wasn’t in my near future, I returned to my bedroom
armed with the Brita water filter and my Kindle Fire
I sipped on water and browsed my Kindle until about 5AM
My heart rate had returned to normal, by that time
In all reality I was terrified to return to sleep… I couldn’t guarantee, to myself, that I wouldn’t awaken in that shitty dried-out half-dead condition again… and the drama queen part of my brain whispered deep into my ear that I may not even be lucky enough to wake next time
Finally I allowed myself to return to sleep. I woke multiple…. MULTIPLE times. Each time, I would take a few slow deliberate sips from my huge cup of water… and return to my slumber
Eventually morning came and my eyelids flickered opened
My heart rate was still normal… Trust me, I know… I checked it about 27 times before I would even allow myself to sit up…
I spent the rest of the day… cautious
I moved slowly… feeling like I had been hit by a car
Every inch of every muscle, within me, ached
and to be honest, I felt cheated.
This single non-alcohol fueled experience easily outweighed any hangover… in the history of man
Think you know the difference between right and wrong?
It’s all so easy, right?
In the words of… me, 2 days ago
Water is a fickle bitch