The Token “Weird” Guy
Every single place of employment has one….
I first came into contact with our resident TWG about 6 years ago. We shared a small-ish office and luckily I was fluent in Weird. Actually, I believe it may have been have been my native tongue… needless to say, we quickly became buddies
We would boisterously make fun of people in the nearby shops…. loudly cuss each other out…Photoshop missing supervisor’s faces on cartoon milk cartons… At one point I had even drawn an elaborate mural covering half of the whiteboard, behind his desk, depicting him… his bestie… his bestie’s oversized tricycle and a dumpster. That same picture still graced the white board, when I was finally promoted.
I lived to torment him.
I mean seriously, what could be more fun than tormenting the token weird guy? Because you KNOW he’s gonna totally weird out on you! Without a doubt… The weird will be unleashed
One day, TWG decided to take the day off…. Complete and TOTAL mistake, on his part! I, then, had 9 hours… completely left to my own devices, in our little office-cave. Was I mature about the situation? Did I perhaps do a little spring cleaning, maybe?
What the heck, people??? Do you not know me, AT ALL?!?!? Hell, no I didn’t. This…. THIS is what TWG returned, the next morning, to find
Sadly, this picture does not do my masterpiece justice, at all…. He had already managed to remove half of it, at least… There was shit hanging EVERYWHERE!!! He gave up after a while and left most of it up… and for the next week, every time he would rise, to go out the door, he would run face first into an empty hanging Monster can or a strand of tape holding all of his paperclips …every last one of them. He would then shriek multiple cuss words at me and slam the door, on his way out
and then I. Would. Laugh.
Our friendship has remained… despite working in separate areas, now. We still mumble threats and obscenities as we pass each other in the halls. He still tampers with my cubicle, when he happens to walk by… I still discreetly flip him off in meetings and give him the stink eye. That’s just how we vibe… and it works, for us.
Today, I happened to turn a corner and there he was… TWG
Wearing camouflage shorts… The camo shorts didn’t really draw my attention, right away. We work on a Marine base…. Da’ Boss wears camo… But there was something about TWG’s camo that was… different. I walked a few feet closer, staring at his shorts and bust up laughing. At that point, I had to just keep walking…. but, alas… I would meet those camo shorts again, later during the day. As TWG sauntered into my cube, a few hours later… I once again felt the laughter fall out of my face.
“TWG!!! What the hell is up with those shorts???”
I wish this picture did the “pattern” more justice
I’m used to seeing the “I’m hiding is the jungle” camo
or the “I’m hiding in the desert” camo
TWG’s pattern was more like…”I’m hiding in the shrubbery, in front of your windows” camo. Total creeper status camo. I asked him if this special pattern was referred to as “Peeping Tom Camo”… and the mere fact that he IS our Token Weird Guy, made this THAT much funnier…
***as a side note, TWG shared with me that he had already been approached, once that day, asking if the camo pattern was actually marijuana leaves***
and these, my friends, are the little moments that get you through to the 4 o’clock dismissal bell…
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This could easily be an episode of The Office
lol funny weird people keep the world revolving
Count your blessings, I’m surrounded by DOZENS of members of this guy’s family!
Aww. I wish I could have befriended our TWG. Instead I had to take vacation days when he was finally escorted off the property because I was sure that when he came back with his TWGW (token weird guy weapon) I would be the first to say hello to his lil’ friend. I still think he has people in his freezer.
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